Major Explaining
by Midnight's Ghost
Summary: A pai and lettuce fanfic. A little fluff and some humor. Lettuce is left to fend for herself while a certain someone comes over. Kisshu is very evil in this fic! btw this is for the contest and this may have errors due to my demonic computer.


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AN: yes this probably has tons of mistakes, but take it easy, this is my second story. I really don't care, critize it please, that will help, but don't make stupid comment like "it sucked." Tell me why it sucked, or vice versa. Oh and I'm really sorry the first time I put this on fanfic, my computer seriously messed with it, so I deleted it and fixed it.

'Seriously,why couldn't every one just get along,especially beings that were from the same planet?' Retasu asked herself. Why was she wasting

her time setting up a circuit of traps baited with mew aqua in the basement of the cafe? Because,Ryou despised the cyniclons with everything he

had and she was the most intelligent mew. That's why instead of having fun with her friends she was measuring,calculating,and brainstorming ways

of trapping them even though she didn't want to. She decided that it wouldn't be horriblely difficult to capture Kish and Tart,but Pai would be a

whole different issue. Unlike the two younger aliens,he actually thought through things and probably had researched human traps. She set up

various traps including invisible infared beams,trip wire,trap doors,two simple ropes where it flings you up if you step in

it,and and an extremely complex trap that she was positive would catch the purple alien. After she was finished setting it up she called Ryou on his

cell phone and told him she was done. "Excellent Retasu,now the rest of the mews and I will be there in two hours or so to help ambush them."

"Two hours?!"

"Yes," Ryou admitted sheepishly,"We're in a traffic jam......"

"Oh gomen nasai,hope its not too boring."

"MOVE YOUR FAT FOOT ICHIGO!" "MAKE ME MINTO!" "OOOH CAT FIGHT NA NO DA!" "Please kill me now......"Zakuro,Ichigo,Minto,and Pudding

were heard shouting or in Zakuro's case muttering through the phone. "DON'T MAKE ME REACH BACK THERE!" Ryou screeched steam coming from

his head,"Gomen,oh don't worry Retasu,it's plenty lively over here. ICHIGO DON'T YOU DARE! Gomen again, I have to go~bye."

Wow,now she was sorta glad she was here,but what if the cyniclons came while only she was here? That was unlikely,carefully she made her

way to the stairs,almost tripping over one of her own well-placed traps. Retasu went in the kitchen and decided to make herself some cheesecake

since she had nothing to do.

Meanwhile,back in a familar ship,"PAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!!" Kish wailed,nothing "PPPAAAIIIIIII" Pai's forehead twitched,but still nothing

"PPPPPPAAAAAIIIIII" "PPPA- OWWWW!" " What. do. you. want." a very irratated Pai answered smacking the younger,loud alien. "Jeez,you don't

deserve to know now,you're a meanie!"he spat back immaturely. This time Pai's eye twitched,"Kisshu you have approximately three seconds to tell

me what you were going to say." "No,say you're sorry." "Never." "Oh whatever,if all you get is coal than don't come crying to me!" "What?"

"I don't know,it's something humans tell their children when they're being bad." "Okayyyy" "Fine,I'll tell you,but only because that vein in your head

looks like it's gonna explode and I don't want to have to be the one to tell Deep Blue how it happened. I found a mew aqua signal in the basement

of the Mew's headcourters." "Well,I'll be back in an hour or so then." "WHAT?" both Tart and Kish yelled as Pai winced,he just got a horrible

headache,"What about us?" "You're both too obnoxious,I was planning to sneak in there,but with you two there's more of a chance of Ichigo willing

to kiss you Kisshu. "Buuurn."Tart whispered. "Oh well,least I have a chance at somebody,least I have emotions!" Silence ensued. More silence.

Kisshu was currently terrified at the outcome of his recent actions. Turning around so no one could see his face Pai growled,"Hurry up."

Peace,serenity, birds chirping........BLAM! "AHHH!" Retasu screamed as the cheesecake exploded everywhere. "Oh how am I going to clean this

up?" She was so preoccupied she didn't hear the crash and the yelp down in the basement. Pai cursed,their cover was blown 15 seconds into the

mission....surprise surprise. He sighed, closed his eyes, and waited for the Mews,lead by their annoyingly high pitched leader that had

infantuated Kisshu to come running in. Nothing.....that was strange he thought squinting his eyes in suspicion he hadn't heard there battle cry,but

they wouldn't leave this unattended would they? Temporarily perplexed he looked over to his comrades. Kisshu had tripped on a wire and fallen

into some sticky looking, greenish goo and Taruto was sniffling in a cage. He slapped his forehead,how did he get stuck with them? Then randomly

thought....did he really not have emotions? Shaking his head,he remembered why he was there,he looked across the room to see the mew aqua

there,plain as day with no traps around it. It was too easy,there had to be something wrong with it."Pai,we're leaving I **have** to get this gunk

off of me!" He sighed,"Go ahead I'm going to try and figure this out." As soon as they left he cautiously crept towards the mew aqua,"Aha! Pff,So the

green one thought she could trick me,this is a nice try bu-WOAH!" just as Pai was saying that the complex trap wasn't enough to trap him he

stepped in the rope circle,one of the simplest traps.

"There! All clean!" Retasu cried out happily. Just then she heard someone scream,"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" She gasped and ran to the

basement only to find not Kisshu and Taruto as she expected,but the oldest cyniclon caught in the most simple trap she laid. "Pai-san?" Hanging

from his foot Pai actually blushed in embarrassment,it just had to be the smart one to see this....wait why did it matter who saw him,though he felt

more ignorant with her here than any other mew. "Ummm...." he uttered stupidly unconciously distracted by her beautiful eyes. Instead of laughing

and shoving it in his face like any other mew would have done,Retasu sincerly said,"Gomen nasai! I didn't expect anyone to get caught in **that** trap!"

Wow,that made him feel better,not,it only added to his pink face. Completely forgetting he could just teleport away he warily asked,"What are you

going to do,bring me to the blond one to torture me?" Looking offended,Retasu replied,"No! We wouldn't torture you!" "I beg to

differ." Suddenly she looked as if deep in thought,then appeared to be battling herself. 'Hmmm should I let him go? What would Ryou do if he found

out? How would thataffect the future of the planet? But he looks so embarrassed up there,I'm sure no one will find out.' "Hold still,I'm going to get

you out of there." she said determined. Pai was utterly perplexed,did she just say she was setting him free? "Wh-what? Why?" "Because I hate this

stupid fight between our people,we were both born here,we shouldn't be fighting." "But if you let me go,I could kill you!" "I know,but the question is

would you?And even if you did it's for your people,plus I'm really not that important to the team anyway." For some dumb reason Pai's heart jumped

out and argued,"Yes you are,you're the smartest one!" Realizing what he said they both blushed,with Retasu

resembling a cherry. "Th-thank you?" She stepped foward to help him when she yelped in surprise as she was to thrown in the air. Now making

even the reddest rose cry in shame,Retasu realized that she had just caught herself in the same type of simple trap...in front of Pai. Why did she

care so much it was him though,her heart was trying to answer,but she didn't like it,she was supposed to love Ryou! "Ohhh well now I really don't

know what to do!" she shouted helplessly. They hung in silence for awhile until Pai,suddenly very curious asked,"Why are you so kind to everyone?"

Blushing again,but also from the fact she was getting dizzy from the blood rushing to her head she answered,"I hate causing pain,I just want

everyone to be happy." "Hey are you okay?"

"I...don't know,I think I have too much blood in my head..."

She groaned,her head felt like it weighed a ton.

Pai was feeling sympathy for her,she looked like she was in serious pain. Then,it dawned on him,all this time he could have just teleported out of the

trap. He was about to do so when guilt reached his heart as she moaned even louder. He teleported to the ground and saw she had passed

out,then somewhere deep in the confounds of his brain remembered reading that it took less time for a human to have the blood rush to their head

than cyniclons,but it was just as deadly. He untied her foot and sat on the ground with her in his arms. Then he heard a warping sound and his brain

shut down,seeing her sweet face, he couldn't resist, he bent down and let his heart take over and kissed her.

Finally with the blood returning back to the other parts of her body,Retasu slowly opened her eyes to see Pai kissing her....she had to admit it was

bliss. But ignorance is bliss and little did the two new love birds know,the warping sound was actually Kish checking up on Pai. Shocked he stood

there for a few moments, gave an evil smirk, then pulled a video camera and recorded the whole thing. As they opened their eyes he snickered evilly

and teleported back to the ship to post it on the internet....and realized it would be excellent blackmail material.

Staring into each others eyes they both blushed and pulled away. There was an akward silence,then they heard the front doors to the cafe

bust open,"I SWEAR ICHIGO I'M GOING TO TAPE YOU MOUTH SHUT!" Gasping bitterly, Pai uttered,"Well it looks like the perfect time to

leave...." "Bye." Turning around and then whipping forward, his brain shut off again and he briefly pressed his lips to hers,then teleported.

Everyone ran downstairs to see a furiously blushing Retasu whose face and hair made the perfect christmas colors. Seeing the wrecked

traps,Ryou proceeded to ask her what happened. "W-well I-I tr-trapped all of th-them b-but they tel-teleported awa-away."

"Are you okay Retasu?" Ichigo worriedly asked. "O-oh per-perfect,nothing ha-happened!" she shouted a little too nervously. "Hehe she's

keeping something from us na no da!" "Me!?she squeaked,"Keeping something,from you guys,no! Why would I do that?" "Okayy Retasu,we

believe you."Ichigo reassured crossing her fingers to make sure the other mewssaw. "Lets go upstairs."

Nervously looking from side to side on the ship Pai finally relaxed. "Oh Pai,how was it?" "Yeah, have fuuun?" Kish and Tart snicked

deviously. Suspicous he hesitantly asked," What do you mean?" "Weeell you don't have the mew aqua,but you do seem to have some lip gloss on your lips!"

Mentally slapping hisself for forgetting the mew aqua,Pai paled and instead of acting like he had no idea what they were talking about,he

foolishly brought his hand to his lips,he didn't remember any lip gloss! "BUSTED!" both the younger aliens cried triumphantly. Kish put a tape

in the computer and the whole lovey-dovey scene laid out before Pai's bulging eyes. With his mouth wide open,his face turned from white,to

red,to the very purple of his hair. "What is in here stays in here." he threatened. "Whoops," Kish smirked,"its already online................SAVE

YOURSELF TARUTO!"

Back at the cafe,all the mews were snuggled up for a sleepover. Everyone was having a great time when Ichigo and Minto,once again

fighting over the remote,accidentally turned it to the news. ".......back to you Claire." " Thanks Ethan and yes and it seems that the mews and

the aliens aren't as far apart as they appear to be,at least this pair isn't,there isn't much distance between these to love birds. This video clip

was sent in by username: iluvmyneko." Groaning Ichigo and the rest of the crew expected to see a clip of Kisshu stealing a peck from

Ichigo,but Retasu suddenly got this sense of extreme foreboding. When the clip played everyone's mouth dropped,they paled, sweat dropped

and quadra-taked from the green mew who looked like she wanted to kill herself at the moment to the tv screen. Retasu gulped as Ichigo

shouted,"RETASU! YOU'VE GOT SOME MAJOR,MAJOR EXPLAINING TO DO!"

**AN: Hope you guys like it, I love this pairing!**


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